This is For the Lover in You; Soldier of Love

To be a lover means that the love given is not necessarily reciprocated and understanding that the reciprocation was never the point. The point was to give love, not to demand love be returned. There are no guarantees. Still the purpose of being a lover is to give it regardless. A lover is as fierce as a warrior. The soldier in battle is committed to kill and the lover in battle is committed to save. Both have no expectations. Both will die for their purpose. Both only want to be remembered that they gave their lives for others. 

The difference is that they make monuments to soldiers.  Lovers often die in obscurity. There is even a monument to the unknown soldier, but not to the mother, father, spouse that stayed up all day and night praying that soldier was alive–writing letters, sending care packages, grinding their heels in the protection of that soldier. If that parent or spouse had been a war medic maybe, just maybe they would be honored. War gets accolades, but love is war and has always been. Sade’s “Soldier of Love” is a better explanation than this silly diatribe, but the lesson is that love is work and true lovers are warriors. 

Sade, “Soldier of Love,” 2010

The absence of love is cowardice and is built out of fear. It's hard to explain—vulnerability ends loneliness, but it comes at a risk and many people are too cowardly. To be vulnerable means to show your belly like a cat and anyone can rip right into it. But to show your belly also offers the opportunity for belly rubs. A poor metaphor but a truth. The truth is that loneliness is attached to a fear of being hurt. Past hurt impacts how we expose ourselves and, in that way, loneliness can be self-imposed. In order to find community we have to consider that we may be ostracized or at best to be on the fringes of that community. That is a scary endeavor, but the success far outweighs the failure. War is scary.

I am a soldier of love and with a bruised heart, injuries, and maybe PTSD, I wouldn’t change my heart and my battles. 

I've lost the use of my heart

But I'm still alive

Still looking for the light

And the endless pool on the other side

It's the wild wild west

I'm doing my best

I'm at the borderline of my faith

I'm at the hinterland of my devotion

I'm in the front line of this battle of mine

But I'm still alive

I'm a soldier of love

Every day and night

I'm a soldier of love

All the days of my life